Three Blessed Years - A Courtship Recounted
Three years ago today I received permission from Jessi’s father to court her.* At the time, the providence of God was readily apparent to me in how our relationship was developing and it was the first time in my life that I felt I had truly surrendered my will and my desires to God. She was a far better match for me than I could have conjured up in my mind; I couldn’t believe how well we got along and how she fulfilled every single thing I had ever asked God for in a wife.
I nervously hoped that one day I would marry her, but I was willing to accept that God might will otherwise. Fortunately, he didn’t and we’ve been married for over a year (by far the best year of my life).
I love Jessi.
Us, at the beginning of our courtship.
* Yes, I quite literally did ask permission to “court” Jessi and I would not have courted/dated/pursued her if her parents had decided it wasn’t a good idea. This idea that a girl is truly under the authority and the discernment of her father is something that became very important to me, and I was not interested in pursuing a relationship outside of that authority structure. It saved us both a lot of trouble since we subjugated ourselves under the objective judgment of people who are older, wiser and more experienced than us in relationships. It’s a biblical, sound and practical way of going about potentially marriage-bound relationships and if anyone is interested in learning more, please read Her Hand in Marriage by Douglas Wilson. It worked FANTASTICALLY for us.
September 5th, 2007 at 6:54 am
congrats
September 5th, 2007 at 10:15 am
your eyes are really dreamy in that picture. i am struck by how young you look there ryan… youve grown up my boy!
September 6th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Nice theme, I’m always a fan of simple themes
September 7th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Man I am sooooooooooooooo happy my best amigo got such a wonderful, godly, cook-savy woman as Jessika. It was so great to finally get to know her when both of you visited me. I couldnt be more happy with your choice in marriage.
As for the book “Her Hand in Marriage”, I read it and am kind of turned off to full blown courtship. But I am glad it obviously worked for both of you.
September 8th, 2007 at 2:24 am
Again, alas, you make me proud. Doug’s book saved my marriage. We were the typical egalitarian, “her life, my life” “50/50″ etc. marriage like our culture teaches us to be; and then were pregnant! (We disdained the “I’m the man do as I say” approach). DS told us to read Doug’s book and it changed everyting we believed about marriage. The thing that did it was Doug’s faithful exposition of Scripture, particularly on the authority of the girl’s father. I discovered that at the heart of relationship should be “what does the Bible say?” If we don’t define marriage (including the path to getting married) theologically (that word may offend sensitive ears, so I’ll say “biblically”), then marriage (including the path to getting married) will be defined culturally and God will not bless a non-Biblical approach to marriage. As we applied the truth exposited in Wilson’s tiny little book, we began to see God’s hand in our marriage.
Blessings Crums on your little covenant household!
September 18th, 2007 at 11:39 am
Courting is great and all, but where are all these eligible bachelorettes that agree? And where are the fathers that appreciate the gesture?
September 19th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
One in a million Troy…
May 4th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
welcome back ryan